Phonoxiousness

(fo-nok-shuss) noun

A mysterious psychological disorder characterized by the need to play music from a battered cell phone without headphones while on public transportation. The sound emitting from the cell phone is often described as one of the worst sounds on earth to hear. However, people who suffer from phonoxiousness are completely oblivious and even think the sound is pleasing. These people also suffer from extremely low intelligence as well as the delusion that they are not among the worst people on earth.

Image: a suitable image to convey phonoxiousness could not be found, so an image of Michael Douglas on a comically big cordless phone will have to suffice.